12-13-18

12-13-18

I have survived another day. I went to the library. I was told that Laura from the VA wanted to have me charged with destruction of gov't property and kicked out immediately, John (great humanitarian that he is) saved me by just getting it reduced to never letting me use a computer again. And the guy that I thought was my "friend" took the position that I should not have fixed that damn thing as well. I have to use him to get myself wifi so I will But if the chance ever arises for me to fuck him I will. I mean it's only right. So he isn't gonna care when I give him this 40 bucks and he uses it to get high and I subsequently tell on him as it's the "right" thing to do. He knows not to smoke dope FGS. Lol, I'll do it in private and he won't know I ratted him out! But I'll have wifi and he'll have a behavior contract.

After this piece of shit action by john, I really want to commit suicide again. All I lack is the stuff to do it. I have a rather small knife which I think I can use, but it would take too much time and I'd probably be found, I want to buy the research chemicals I need tomorrow. I'll get coach to let me use the computer and then I will get the stuff I need. It'll probably get me kind of high then I'll go to sleep. What I don't want to happen is me hugging the toilet puking my guts out! So now my plan is in place. But on the survival side of this equation is I am paying someone to have wifi installed for me in his name since I can't go there.

This is going to be close. Between me getting my RC's or my wifi. I intend to use which ever I get first.